Let’s update what it means to be “A Materialistic Person”
It’s taboo to desire money, status, & fame. But what are you supposed to do if you actually want these things?
Is it wrong to want them? Does it show that you are of low character or lacking in wisdom? Almost everyone that accumulates enough of these “success markers” will tell you that they’re not the key to happiness… but if that’s true then why does it seem like they are?
In this article, I’d like to resolve a major friction point in myself and many people that I’ve been speaking with lately along this subject. The friction is caused by two opposing aspects of our psychology: 1) The knowing that money, status, & fame are not truly required for personal fulfillment/actualization, and 2) The desire to strive for and have these things that persists in spite of that knowing.
This conversation is important because we can’t truly be congruent with our inner vision of success if we have “taboo issues” around it. If we are striving towards something, but simultaneously believe it’s wrong to strive toward it… then we’re cutting ourselves off at the shins. We’re set up for wasted effort.
If we can resolve this conversation however, then we’re free to move forward with both oars paddling in the same direction. Forward; into growth, evolution, actualization.
Job, House, Car, Spouse
To be clear, when I say “being materialistic” I’m referring to this old 90’s notion of putting so much importance in having a great car, a big house, all the best clothes, and tons of money in the bank. We used to put the highest value on these things and use them to position ourselves as ‘higher’ or ‘lower’ than other people.
These values were so gross and inauthentic that a whole crop of children from the ’80s and ’90s grew up under a solemn oath to never be like that. We rebelled against this by embracing concepts like minimalism, non-attachment, and stoicism.
Instead, we started emphasizing a host of new, updated values such as freedom, mobility, and self-determination. We became freelancers, entrepreneurs, and work-from-home professionals. We look for work that emphasizes flexibility and mentorship — de-emphasizing a locked-in-for-life climb up the corporate ladder.
None of us consider ourselves to be “materialistic people”, nevertheless I now intend to do two very important things:
- Demonstrate that we are nonetheless materialistic, and
- Demonstrate that it’s perfectly fine to be this way.
It’s just that the definition of “material” has changed
Before, it was the car, the house, the job, the spouse.
That was how we positioned ourselves compared to other people.
No one plays that game now, right? If someone were to come up to you and say “I own a huge 5-bedroom house with a pool, a sauna, and a home theatre”, and then look at you for a response… what would you do? Would feel impressed? Would you admire them, or feel inferior to them? Probably not!
But now let’s look at exhibits B, C, and D:
You’re meeting someone new and they tell you about how they created a business that offers passive income, and they’re free to go travelling around the world at their leisure.
Or you’re talking with someone who got into cryptocurrencies early enough that they’re incredibly wealthy and have no financial worries anymore.
Or a friend announces that their corporate job allows them to work 100% remote and are evaluated only on their results — not on how much work time they put on the clock. So they get all their work done in 3 hours each morning and spend the rest of their time doing whatever the hell they want.
Mobility, growth, & freedom… These are the new materials, and us being covetous of these materials makes us the new materialists.
It’s these people — in these situations — that make us envious. They make us wonder if we’ve been wasting our time, wasting our lives, making wrong moves, wrong choices. They bring up our sense of inferiority and superiority.
So much honesty is required here, because it’s tempting to deny that we feel this way. It’s such a culturally engrained “minimalist” response to say “Nah, I’m happy with where I’m at. I’m not envious”
… It might very well be true that you’re happy where you’re at, and that you’re not envious. But as long as you’re here, reading this, there’s no one here to judge you… let’s be real! Are you comparing yourself to these people? Do you feel like you're “behind” these people? Or perhaps you’re “behind” on where you should be?
Learn how to drop the Comparisons… not the Materialism
A major takeaway that I hope you receive from this article is that it’s okay to want things.
It’s okay to want things, it’s okay to care about money, to work for money, to create assets that generate money. It’s okay to want freedom. It’s okay to desire success, to desire to be successful.
All of this desire points you in the direction of your evolution. It’s such an expression of health and wellness — this desire to expand and evolve.
What is NOT so helpful is when our efforts and desires for success come from a place of deficiency. Like we’re trying to compare favourably, or trying to impress people, trying to get them to see us in a particular way.
Perhaps you might be willing to bring an end to the comparison game now.
It’s a losing game, isn’t it? Going through all this effort and trouble to get everyone to see you the way you wish to be seen? Such a waste of energy.
You can create a clear intention to put this down, right now. You can clearly decide that you don’t want to do this anymore, and that you’re ready to start living according to your own values.
Go get those materials
The final step is to become congruent with your heart's desires.
If money is important to you, then let it be important. It’s okay that money matters to you. It’s okay that success and fame matter to you. You should really go for these things.
It’s so common for rich and famous people to attain all of their wildest dreams and then to turn around and say that it doesn’t make you happy. Maybe it won’t make you happy. But that doesn’t change that you can either go through this life chasing your wildest dreams, or by keeping everything low to the ground.
As always, there are no judgments here. Your life is yours to live. Become as wealthy, as free, and as independent as you desire. My message here is to be real about what you value and to go for it.
The more you expand in this way, the more valuable you become to your community and to the world at large. So if it’s your desire to serve the wellness of all, then make sure to make yourself so incredibly abundant that your coffers overflow in all directions.
Keep those standards high. You deserve all of it.
Hope this helps! Let me know what you think.
Brent
